Lights, Camera, Action!

Well... since we went to Long Island last we've had a couple of rough weeks with behavior. Tantrums, nightmares and just overall irritability and easily set off. Just yesterday IN Wal-Mart Kaitlyn had the hugest meltdown. She started arguing with her brother over something - she didnt want him touching it - and so I took it away. My goodness did she ever BLOW UP! She was in the basket part of the cart and started crying (of course, thats normal!) and escalated to her kicking, screaming, thrashing around shaking the cart and all kinds of craziness while I simply walked along doing my shopping. I was sure to calmly tell her "her behavior is inappropriate" but other than that, I was unresponsive. It makes me wonder what people must be thinking to see a kid Kaitlyn's age doing that and me just walking along like nothing is going on!!! hahahahaha Anyway, all the crying and screaming got Tyler upset so HE started crying and freaking out... so there I was, walking in Wal-Mart with TWO screaming kids in my cart! hahahaha After the 20 min? or so ordeal little miss Kaitlyn was still upset but had run out of energy I think with all the hard work she was doing to shake around the cart and everything. She then just cried the rest of the time and began the begging me for a hug and kiss to make her feel better and she just kept saying "I'm sorry mommy," "I'm really sorry mommy for doing what I did, I dont like it," and "I dont want to do that, I was sad about the Candy canes, I'm sorry mommy." She was saying all of this VERY quietly while crying in the cart... not sure if it was REALLY to me or just her talking out loud to herself??? I wonder if I could get the Security tapes from yesterday?!?!?!? hahahaha Just to be on the outside seeing that happening would be interesting!

Kaitlyn did have her Dance Studio Holiday Party this past Monday (12/7) and they did the same dance routine as last year and Kaitlyn was so scared (she told me) she stood there with her hands to her face and didnt do any of the dance really... I spoke with the Dr about the drastic change from last year when she did EVERY move. We came to the conclusion that she is more aware of her anxiety - especially when she tells me "it felt like all the people were looking at me." So we'll see how the rest of the dance shows go from here. She did tell me she likes dancing on the stage just not on the roller rink, which is where there little holiday thing was. All we can do is wait.

Anyway, once again we're headed to Long Island this weekend so I'm sure I'll have more than a few days filled with tantrumish behavior once we're back. It's a short trip so hopefully it's a short run after! I hate when there are changes in the routine but we need to get this overwith so we can have a few weeks at home with uninterrupted routine to see how she is really doing. She is on .5mg of the Tenex in the am and now we added the pm. If we still see no change in her by the end of December we're going to pull back and take her off the meds and see how she is then and figure out what to do from there.

I've also been doing a lot of looking around into where we can get money to get her into the program at Crossroads Center to get her some real help. She is going to be starting with the Social Worker the school is providing today! She will be getting that whole 30 mins per week at school but we did ask the girl if she would come here, to a "safe" and "familiar" enviroment to meet Kaitlyn rather than just going to the school. I've also contacted a lawyer to see what kind of options we have as well... I'll update once I know more, right now everything is so "up in the air."

Oh tomorrow is also the annual trip to NYC to see the tree... I just KNOW thats going to be Sensory overload... all the people, the lights?? Yeah... thats going to be an AWESOME tantrum waiting to happen!!!