But, Why, Mommy?!?!

So, first I'll start off with this morning. Kaitlyn woke up saying her tummy hurt, she didnt feel good, she was sick and didnt want to go to school. She went to school because I saw no real sickness at all and she ate and drank fine so, off she went.

When I picked her up today the teacher said she "had a good day" and even "had a conversation with Gabriella for almost 10 mins" today. I was in shock! I managed to get Kaitlyn to talk about the said "conversation" and she didnt seem all that happy about it. I asked what she was talking about with the other girl and she told me "Apples." Well, if they were talking about apples, K would have talked for a week lol. But, still, Kaitlyn didnt seem all that happy with the conversation, she was telling me how the girl "just couldn't listen" (K's way of saying someone wasnt listening) and that "she wanted me to come to her house to have apples for a snack but she couldnt listen and I dont want to go to her house for any snack since we have snack here at school and I dont have two snacks in a day, only here at school." So she seemed upset and it makes me wonder what SHE thinks this little exchange was... a conversation? and argument? What, in the eyes/mind of my daughter, could this exchange of words mean????? I wish I could ask around inside that little head of hers!! lol :)

Ah well... she talked to someone today... two someones actually because she, first, told the teacher that she wanted off the SeeSaw and the teacher told her to just tell Sarah (one of the other girls on it) that she wanted off so, of course, Kaitlyn did. It seems she is still learning the rules of when it is ok to talk to other kids and when it isn't... I know she will learn!

Sooooooooooooooooo after school, Tyler and I picked Kaitlyn up and had some errands to run. First we decided to stop and have lunch and while we're sitting in Wendy's, eating our chicken, there is only one other gentleman sitting (about 5 ft away) near us. You have the scene, here is the dialogue:

Kaitlyn: "Mommy, that people over there eating lunch like us"

Me: "Yes, honey, it's lunchtime and everyone here is eating lunch, just like us"

Kaitlyn: "No, mommy, THAT people *pointing to the man near us* sitting THERE"

Me: "Kaitlyn, honey, it's not nice to point..."

Kaitlyn: *sitting up higher to point at him better over her brother*

Me: Kaitlyn, sweetheart, it is in appropriate to point at people, please stop that"

Kaitlyn: "but mom, that people, him, HE, THAT one, sitting there *nodding her head in his directions* sitting there, eating like us..."

Me: "K, shhhhhh, don't talk so loud"

Kaitlyn: "he's weird looking"

Me: *sigh!!!!* "Kaitlyn that's not nice, please be quiet"

Kaitlyn: "but Mama, HIM, HE... *nodding her head again*"

Me: "Kaitlyn, it's not nice to talk about people. Please stop talking!"

Kaitlyn: "But, Why?... he's weird looking."

Me: *sigh*

Oh MY! That was awkward!!!!! What a wonderful conversation!! LOL :) Boy... we were soon out of there after she let half the restaraunt know that she had to go potty, as well.

Overall, today hasnt been that bad we had some moments doing errands but I let her do a LOT of helping today and took my time (there was no rush) and let her take her time and do what she needed to make it through the stores without issue. She had to stack the cans and count the cans and make a tower and put things in certain places... all of which I gave into so that we got through peacefully and we did!! :)

Made it home and she has been playing her video game and coloring and chatting a little with me. We'll see how the rest of the night goes and I think I'm going to do a long bedtime transition tonight so that we dont have any tantrums today.

Anyway, she just came in reminding me that we're supposed to make Brownies! So off her and I go to make some tastey No Sugar Added Brownies!! YUM!!!

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood!

If only everyday could be like today when my lovely daughter is behaving like a normal kid! WOOT! Today I kept Kaitlyn home from school today and I took both kids to the Dr because the whole house is sick. K has another throat infection though negative for Strep, YAY!

Anyway today has been wonderful even though I'm sick as heck! She has been so good and behaving like a 4yr old should! Ya know, I've had the few "no's" from her and little "I want to be in control" things but that is so normal I actually look forward to that rather than the screaming!

So, today is a beautiful day in the neighborhood and tomorrow we're back to school... so we'll see!

and the Saga Continues...

So at school today, besides going to the bathroom (#2) TWICE, Kaitlyn was pretty good and was interacting! Though when I picked her up I could see how worked up she was and she was yanking on my arm and raising her voice to me starting up a tantrum as the poor teacher is trying to tell me how things went and what happened with the "accidents." By the time we got to the car we were in a meltdown and Kaitlyn's behavior had escalated to kicking, screaming and crying in her booster seat the entire way home from school.

I just had tears in my eyes because I knew she just needed to let out the "overstimulation" or "anxiety" or whatever it was that she was feeling and had no idea how other than to blow up once she was safely with mommy who loves her no matter what. I really think thats why only a select few have seen these screaming fits because Kaitlyn holds it all in until she has to "blow" and it's usually at home with mommy and/or daddy since it IS safe here with us. We wont be mad at her for having them or anything.

Anyway, I did try VERY hard to figure out just what it was she was feeling and unforunately she couldn't/wouldn't talk to me during her screaming... she even screamed at me "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!!" So I sat there, mouth closed with tears in my eyes and drove home. She continued the behavior but only for a short time after getting into the house... something (daddy?) changed the situation and she had a whole new thing to deal with so the behavior changed.

So far this evening no real issues have come up so thats good! She spent a lot of time alone doing her PuzzleBuzz books alone and really enjoyed herself. Then she has been watching a bit of tv since we had early dinner.

So tonight we're headed to dance class and hopefully it goes well. Doing all this running around every morning is killing me so we're looking to switch dance to Wed nights so Saturday can be our do nothing day! :)

Enlightenment

I just watched a video on YouTube from a teenager with Asperger and he really described something in an awesome way!! Since Asperger is neurological issue he put it this very simple way. Parts of his brain have not developed as quickly as others have and the creative part and/or the thinking part have developed much faster than the Social, Anger Management and other parts... that right there explains Asperger's so well. In a not so clinical way and I just thought I would share that. It's why our Aspie's can seem so smart but then get into fights or arguments or have full on tantrums.

Anyway.. it's about time to get the kids dressed so Kaitlyn can get off to school!

A New Week Begins

Well we are officially starting our first Full week of Preschool without interruptions (no Dr appts, or no school days). I have to say... it hasn't started off all that well! Jon picked Kaitlyn up from school today and was handed a bag of dirty panties because Kaitlyn had, according to the teacher, "forgotten to go because she was playing." Which actually worries me because K doesnt usually forget... that usually happens because she is stressed about something and I'm very curious to know what happened in School today. She also did it again at home so that tells me even more that it's stress and not just an "oops!"

She was fussy and fighting and crying and ultimately screaming a hissy fit for about an hour and a half about having quiet time/nap time though after being carried upstairs again, kicking and screaming, she ended up falling asleep around 2:30pm. I really think she was stressed out about something today and the only way to get it out was to finally "blowing her top." I hate that sometimes that is her only option - as of yet - but I guess thats how it has to be until she can learn to express herself better or easier.

I am just wondering if at school they tried some "back and forth" type play with the kids and that stressed her out or something. She did tell me that she didnt play the computer at school today and maybe that feels safe to her and she was stressed because she didnt get that today. I have no idea but I wish I could be there to observe an entire day of her at school to see what really happens.

Oh well since she is napping now we will see how the evening goes after she wakes up. Hopefully she will be reset and not rev'd up!

The weekend is here!

Well this ends a semi-full week of PreK for Kaitlyn. We've had some behavior issues afterschool and in the evenings but over all IN school she seems to be doing well. She listens to teachers and follows directions and everything she should be doing. She is not social really at all and just keeps to herself while the kids are playing. Even on the playground yesterday she would go to the slides or climbers where no one was or wait until they got off before going on. No biggie... I really dont want to push the social issue right now until she is comfortable with just going to school and gets used to the crazy routine!

Plus I have to get used to it too... it's not like in 4 yrs we've had to get up EVERY day to be somewhere by 9am!

Which brings me to another point... I'm thinking of switcing her dance class to the Wed 6:30pm class (a little smaller and girls who have done it before like K) simply to give ME a break from getting up at 7am every single morning 7 days a week to be somewhere. Struggling to get her fed, dressed, hair brushed... I'm not used to the rushing and neither is she so it can be a fight in the morning.

Anyway, today was her second day of Dance class and she fell right back into it! She was wonderful doing everything like last year and she even did the whole Duck Dance from the recital and she remembered it all!! She is loving taking Baton and seems to be doing well with it. I hope she keeps it up and really enjoys it. I would love to do whatever I can for her to stay in dance for as long as possible. It's o good for her mentally, physically and emotionally!

Oh Say Can You See!

Well today we went to the eye Dr for Kaitlyn's check-up. Kaitlyn has been wearing her glasses for about 2 months now and they seem to be working!! YAY!! When she started her vision was crazy horrible and her left eye was not really even "on." She has been doing great and it only took about a week or so for her to actually ask for her glasses. Now she says things like "I just cant see without my glasses" lol and will ask to put them on first thing in the morning! :)

Well the Dr reexamined her and her eyes are, technically, BETTER!!! They are both at about 20/50 with her glasses on. So the Left eye has been "turned back on" by her brain and although she doesnt have 20/20 vision and is still extremely farsighted she is getting better. Not sure if I mentioned it before but people who are farsighted are +1 to +2 usually at most but occasionally there are people like K... who is a +7/8!!! So she is VERY farsighted! Anyway, the Dr tweeked her prescription a little bit and we went to get K new glasses today too! We can get them in about a week. Since this prescription is going to be like this for AT LEAST 6 months I opted to pay more for the lenses that dont magnify her eyes. They are expensive but she will look more like a little girl with glasses now rather than a kid with glasses that give her bug eyes lol :) Though she LOVES bugs so maybe she likes that!! hahahaha

So I'll add a pic when we get her new glasses, they are really cute - not the perfect shape I would have liked but they seem to fit her well.

The Haircut of the Century!

Well had I known my child was so sensitive to getting a haircut I might have thought twice. I cut her hair today so she has bangs again like when she was 2. She looks cute but she FREAKED out, curled up on the bathroom floor crying and was very upset by the change. She didnt even want to look at herself. She was "too scared." She said, "I don't like change and I just want to be me. I dont like haircuts because I'm not me!"

I dont know why but I'm sitting here crying about this because I caused her to be so upset and I guess I feel terrible for that. I didn't know she would react this way and I hate that I triggered her by trying to help keep the hair out of her eyes.

Maybe today will get better, there is no school today so we're going to run out and do errands and I plan on taking the hand held video games with us!

The Evening After...

Well we ended up with a couple screaming fits today and just overall not good behavior. Kaitlyn was fighting about everything and it seemed like she was trying hard to get into trouble so she had a reason to blow her top. She eventually did. Thats about all... we'll see how the rest of the week goes. I started a Behavior Log and I'm putting little marks on the calendar when she has bad days. This way I can guage when the bahvior happens, what days, what triggers, naps or not... that sort of thing.

First Real Day of PreK

Well Kaitlyn had her first real day of preschool today.

It started out with our door codes not being entered so we couldn't get in the building and she was getting anxious and kept whinishly asking me "Why can't we go in yet?!" Once inside we went up to the classroom where she completly ignored the fact that the teacher sai Hi to her and instantly wanted to hide in the corner playing the computer by herself. I had to again ask for a hug and kiss goodbye... she really doesnt mind me leaving When Kaitlyn wanted to play on the computer there were already two boys playing there, the teacher told me she redirected her and she did, in fact, find something else to play with. The teacher said they will probably have to limit her computer time because thats really where she wants to stay since it is a pretty secluded spot. The teacher told me how she was lining up Care Bears that matched in lines and was making the Care Bears have voices, some crying because they couldnt find their mommys. She often does this at home with small toys as well. Overall the teacher said she did well and got a Green Smiley Face on her Calendar for the day!

From the moment we picked Kaitlyn up from school we have kinda felt like we are "walking on eggshells" today. We got her from school and she, quite literally, pulled me out of there and is not listening (not even hearing us call her name), is being rude/inconsiderate, talking back, says to leave her alone ri...ght now she doesnt want to talk, and is having a lot of trouble focusing... she is very "heightened" and I don't have a good feeling about today but I'm TRYing to be positive.

I did manage a few hours later to get her to talk about her day. She said she played with the Care Bears (and told me all about the mommy & babies) and matching them up and that she played with the computer. I asked if she talked to or played with any of the kids and she said "I told you I what I played with, toys! I didnt play with kids or talk to them."

For now she is napping and we will see how the rest of the day goes. I'm hoping the nap will recharge her and not backfire on us. Jon is home today so I'm not sure what the evening will bring or where we might go, it's a beautiful day.

No School tomorrow and her Recheck at the Opthamologist is on Wed morning so hopefully that goes well. Oh yeah and she woke up this morning with a stuffy nose and cold so she is tired and sick and not happy about that either. Hopefully she will be too tired from that to throw any big tantrums!!

First Day of Sunday School!!!

Geeeesh... everything sure did start at the same time this year!!! Today was the first day of Sunday school and since Daddy was working midnights last night I took both kids to church myself. Kaitlyn had her Sunday school class which she was instantly in shock over that she did NOT have the same teacher. THAT began the day with a bang, shall we say. She was a mess in class, couldnt sit down, was interrupting EVERYone, was sticking things in the teacher's face and was grabbing things out of others hands. Not to mention almost, just ALMOST having a fit about a crayon she wanted to use that someone else was using. He was nice enough to say she could use it JUST as she started to get fiesty!

All through service Kaitlyn pretty much stayed in the back corner playing with stickers or laying on the floor looking at books. She really wanted nothing to do with being around anymore people. Which brings us to the "picnic" after service for the beginning of Sunday School. She pretty much hid in the toy area and played with toys alone and then we ate and then I knew it was time to leave... she was getting that look in her eye and starting to talk back really bad. I just simply know where that behavior leads... and I wasnt wrong.

Ever since getting home from Church today we've had nothing but nasty behavior and tantrums and potty issues. So much so that she ended up in a pull up and ultimately in a diaper at bedtime. We did buy, yet another, pack of underwear since we've thrown 5 pair away now in the last week and a half. Today was NOT a good day for us or her. We all did a lot of yelling we wish we hadn't I'm sure but there is only so much a person can take before they explode. She essentially escalated since Friday and with Jon working midnights I was completely worn out by today and he was tired and not in any kind of mood for the behavior either. I'm not making excuses... ok, I am... but it's the truth. We were all in the wrong today and I hope that tomorrow will be a better day... but then again, tomorrow she starts her regular school day.

I'm anticipating a tough day tomorrow.

First Day of Dance!

Well today was K's first day of dance!! She started her second year of KinderDance at Merritts and this year added KinderBaton!!! There were, what felt like to me, a MILLION people/kids there today and I KNOW Kaitlyn felt it. She did great in class since it was pretty much like any other class she went to last year and they did a lot of the same stuff as review for some kids and to teach the littler ones. There were a lot of new kids there this year too! I'm really thinking about switching Kaitlyn to the smaller Thursday class that runs at 3:30pm since her behavior today has been off the wall. She got so overstimulated and I couldn't bring her back today and she was sassy and every choice she made in her behavior seemed like one where she was looking to get into trouble.

Well we will see how tomorrow goes... tomorrow is the first day of Sunday School and then Church service and then a picnic for the kids after!

"First" Day of School!

I actually don't really consider today Kaitlyn's first day of school since it was only an hour long and we just went in and I was there for about 10-15 mins of it, the kids just played with the toys and go to know the teachers and classroom. When I told K I was leaving and would be back to get her in a bit, she just turned around and looked at me as if to say, Ok see ya! I asked her for a kiss (repeatedly) and then got one before walking out. Kaitlyn, of course, found a quite corner of the room to sit on the computer by herself for about 40 mins and then they did "Carpet Time" for the last 10 mins where K promptly found a spot on the carpet but just far enough away from the other kids off to the side. They sang songs (Wheels on the Bus & stuff) and I was told by the teacher that Kaitlyn was offering up things that were on the bus an what noise they were making... just like her to want to be in control lol.

Overall she had a good day, but as I said, it was only an hour long. After getting home she spent the day in a mood teetering on tantrumish behavior. She had a hard time going up for quiet time (was kicking and screaming on the way up) and ultimately ended up waking up her brother for his nap but we got through the day!

Next week will be the true test on how this whole school thing will go. She starts regular 9-11:30am class M-F and we will see how the behavior holds up. I'm also heading over sometime next week to sign the papers to get theEvaluations going through the school. Time will tell!

Mall + Holiday Weekend + Aspie = NEVER!

So we got home at 1am last night and the kids went right from the car to thier beds. We got up this morning like usual and tried to have a pretty normal day at home. Since Kaitlyn had completely been off the potty for almost a week I decided to put her in panties and cold turkey her back to the potty - especially since School starts Wed! She managed to go potty in the bathroom but then proceeded to have a full blown screaming fit in there because she was "scared to wipe." She screamed and yelled and cried for about an hour and then ended up falling asleep for a couple hours. Then we decided to head out to the mall to let the kids play for a bit, pick up a few things and then use some coupns to get something to eat at Fuddruckers.

Going to the Mall on Labor Day with Kaitlyn was a HORRIBLE mistake. It was VERY crowded and poor Kaitlyn didnt handle it well at all! She started to get overstimulated or anxious in the play area and then we went to the bookstore and she began getting tantrumish there. We then ran to one other store and while I was in there looking for something for her, no less, she ended up having a full meltdown and Jon had to take her out of the store and she was screaming and having a fit in the middle of the mall. Sometimes I wish things weren't so hard for her... like going to the mall but it's life and we just go with it. Jon did manage to get her calmed down by giving her some strength things to do to try to work out the frustation or anxiety. It wasnt the best but it helped with the tantrum at the moment.

We did manage to get out of the mall and decided to go have dinner anyway but made sure to completely explain how things were going to be in the restaraunt and that didnt go so bad. We ate and came home and hung out a bit before putting the kids to bed. Kaitlyn did ok at bedtime with only a few trips out of her room.

We are hoping that the tantrums or whatever anxiety is leftover from the Michigan trip will get out of her system quickly and she can be ready for her first day of school on Wednesday!

Michigan Trip Ended

Well we're home from the trip and it really did end up being a very hard thing for Kaitlyn. We did have a good time at the Mall with Grandpa and Kaitlyn LOVED driving Grandpa around on his Scooter! We had lunch at Max & Erma's, the kids played at the play area and then even got into the water fountains they have there to play in. I figured they could get wet since we had the suitcase in the car and I just changed them before we left!

Kaitlyn got very overstimulated at the Mall and ended up going potty in her panties and we had to toss them... that was about the last time for the week she wore panties and by the end of the week had abandonded going to the bathroom in the potty at all. I feel bad for her that she gets that way but there is nothing I can do other than to put a diaper or pull-up on her. She ended up bouncing around at McDonalds while waiting on my brother to having dinner with us before heading out to my moms. She did seem to enjoy visiting with my brother and seemed very comfortable with him and talking to him. She's only met him a few times but he didnt seem to bother her much and she liked that he helped her put together her paper dolls from her Happy Meal!! LOL :)

We ended up getting to my mom's house at about 9pm and then the kids went to bed very late that night. Friday we got up and went to the Mall because my mom wanted a picture of all of her Grandkids together. That was NO fun at all. A big busy mall + a photo shoot + an Aspie = NOT a good mix. Kaitlyn was in rare form and did have a tantrum while there and everything but not a horrible one. I think I handled her pretty well especially since I had Tyler in the stroller and didnt have to worry about him running around. She really was way overstimulated and not handling it well. I ended up giving her two shots of Benadryl which barely helped at all. My mom really got to see how it was when K was full blown (though she SOOOOOO missed out on a good screaming fit tantrum - THAT would have been nice lol). In a way it was nice that my mom actually got to see what our life is like... it was hard for her seeing it though and it did make her upset where she almost started crying because she realized how much work Kaitlyn can be. It's just life though and doesnt really phase me - most of the time. Seeing it from the outside must be different though. Anyway, we did make it home that afternoon after deciding not to go to the Zoo and taking the kids to Build A Bear instead. Kaitlyn got a cute bunny and named her "Bunny Bunny," of course! :) She's got a pink Tshirt and pink bows on her ears and a checkered heart inside!

Saturday was just a hang around the house day for the most part and Kaitlyn again got WAY overstimulated and got no rest/quiet time and was pretty much a complete nutball all day. She ended up having Night terrors for a few hours that night (boy THAT was fun for me!) and then Sunday we got up, ate, took baths, played a bit more and then had lunch and left. K didnt do too bad in the car on the way home... it was after we got home that the real fun began...

You'll have to see the next post for that!

Visiting Family in Michigan pt 1

Me and the Kids got here yesterday to start our journey visiting family in Michigan. Last night Auntie Sarah and Uncle Scott were so awesome to have my dad and Dorie over for dinner so we didnt have to drag the kids out! It was great!

Kaitlyn was doing ok until we all sat down and were all together having dinner. She got VERY anxious and starting running around and eventually abandonded her meal and went to hide in the bedroom to be alone. She has such a hard time around a lot of people... We just let her go since we knew she wasnt comfortable but she did do pretty well.

I called the Ped before leaving to see if there is anything I can do for her when she gets anxious or panic attacks (which has been happening!) and other than prescribing her a sedative he said we could try a good dose of Benedryl to calm her (and possible make her sleepy) so she's had a couple doses of that in the past two days but it's working to calm her enough to help her sleep. She is getting so anxious before bed and at bedtime that we're on the edge of tantrums... so the Benedryl is actually helping keep the screaming fits at bay! I wish it worked a little faster though!!

Ok we're getting the car loaded up and ready to head out soon for lunch with Grandpa and Grandma Dorie at Partridge Creek Mall.